In recent years, emotional intelligence is more and more present when it comes to understanding people and, mostly, the way we interact with each other. As shown in the movie “Inside Out”, although not all emotions are seen as equal on a social level, as for Focussing on anger, according to studies of Dolf Zillmann, its origin can be found in a feeling of being threatened. This threat, which can be physical and psychological, generates an impulse towards an automatic, often not well out thought response. This “irrational” behaviour can have undesired consequences on the people around us. Moreover, depending on our reasons for being angry, and how we feel on a physical and psychological level, it is not always easy to halt the escalation provoked by this feeling. Why? Because there are many variables that influence it: Being angry at your boss is not the same as being angry at your spouse, or a person who has dinged your car, right?

For example, anger at the workplace generates frustration and poisons the environment. The worker who feels they have been wronged shows the reasons for their discontent on a mental level, but doesn’t always share them. The initial thought to find a new job and leave the company is now there. The same occurs when we get angry in the personal atmosphere. What starts out as a small issue, over time, can transform into resentment on such a scale it leads to divorce.

In both cases there are three possible solutions: unlock the situation in a friendly manner, through conflict, or finding a way to fix the situation. In the two constructive manners, those that avoid “war”, and if we are not able to communicate correctly and honestly, the mediator becomes vital. The mediator, through communication, will help to manage the conflict between the two parties.

Communication as a Base to Resolve Conflict

In the words of Aliocha Mussy, mediator and director of Lead Your Communication, “In a conflict, the mediator, a neutral and impartial third person, helps to improve the communication process in a relationship. We define the reasons for the conflict through dialogue and together search for a solution evaluating all possible options.” On top of seeking the help of a mediator, what can we ourselves do in our daily situations?

  • Practice active and tolerant listening. Despite the culture of “hail to me” expanding continuously, it is important to listen to others.When we have a relationship, personal or professional, we need to listen, accept what is happening to others and how this affects me and my surroundings, my family, and my job!
  • Express our feelings. Is it key we feel confident enough, with either our boss or spouse, to express how we feel about specific situations. This will help us to resolve conflicts, increase trust in each other and strengthen us.
  • Encourage honest dialogue in the face of conflict. If something unpleasant happens to us, it is important to not let it simmer. It’s recemontable to sit down to explain how we feel and how we can help to make sure both parties feel as comfortable as possible.
  • This seems obvious, however, many conflicts are characterized by the lack of respect between the participants. There are as many points of view as there are people. Listening and recognizing the opinions of others is important and takes a point of view of tolerance and respect.